Gifts for Enemies
People have said that you're passive-aggressive; it doesn't bother you. Well let out all your passive-aggressive tendencies with the spirit of giving. Nothing politely says "fuck you" quite like a $1 gift certificate to Starbucks. It might take a little effort since the minimum amount for a gift certificate is $25, but hey to you it's worth it. Just dish out the 25 bucks, buy $24 worth of decaf coffee beans for your grandma (two birds, one stone) and give the gift card with the remaining $1 balance to that special person in your life that you love to piss off. -SS
Are you, for some reason, obligated this year to give a gift to one of those really annoying humorless "sensitive" types? You know the kind I mean-those vegan activist squatter types who hit all the protests and get all uppity when someone uses an incorrect word like "stewardess" or admits to liking meat?
Give them this. It'll be really funny. -JK
Cannibal Holocaust 25th Anniversary Edition Directed by Ruggero Deodato (Grindhouse, $39.95)
For the perennially (annoying) dieter, buy then a box of Crabtree & Evelyn's Petite Fours Soap Gift Box ($16.00 for set of 9) The rainbow colored soaps scented with banana Cream, Warm Apple Pie, Mojito Lime and other savory treats will throw them off their diet once again.
Crabtree & Evelyn 10 Columbus Circle, 212-823-9584, 530 Madison Ave, 212-758-6419 10-6-Monday- Sat, 12- 6 Sun (holiday hours). www.crabtree-evelyn.com