The War on Ennui

THE DAY AFTER HIS reelection was announced, George W. Bush reaffirmed his continued efforts on what he insists on calling "the international war on terror." Meanwhile, everywhere we looked and nearly everyone we talked to here in New York was clearly in need of a leader who was willing to fight the international war on ennui.

Everybody was moping and grumbling in the aftermath, but nobody was really pissed. There was a sense of resignation in the air. The quiet stench of helplessness and failure. People were doing a lot of sighing and shrugging.

George Bush, meanwhile, was talking in terms of "mandates" and "earning capital," while outlining his crazy plans for the future.

Several hours later, at around 11 on Thursday night, an F-16 strafed a New Jersey school in what unnamed military officials referred to as a "practice run."

"That'll make those Grumpy Gus New Yorkers wake up and smell the coffee, won't it?" a chuckling president told reporters the following day. "Those folks in Jersey, too. I'll tell you one thing, I'm the man in charge. And I wanna see some big smiles out there-or else."