A Reason To Cry

Q. I have been with a great guy for about 16 months. We have a great sex life and have been engaged since June. At first I think I had an emotional block preventing me from having an orgasm, but now I have a hard time, I think, because there's no foreplay and he comes too quickly. It leaves me feeling very used. He feels bad and says that he can't help it, that I turn him on and that he doesn't know how to (or even want to) stop when he comes close to orgasm to take care of my needs first. It doesn't always happen, but I find that things are done too fast and sometimes it hurts because I'm not aroused enough. How do I get the boy to think not only of his needs? How do I even know if he really does have a hard time controlling his orgasm? I really need to know if that is a real problem with men or if my sexual needs aren't as important to him as his needs are to me.

A. Empty Elaine

How can you call a one-sided sex life "great"? The fact that he says "he doesn't want to stop" shows you that he doesn't give a flying fuck if you come or not. He is just in it for himself. That behavior is acceptable and expected on a one night stand, but notfrom a fiancé. What did you expect out of a marriage proposal from a man who doesn't even try to make you come? Do you think he'll change and suddenly give a shit? Sex usually starts out amazing with a partner andgets a bit routine after a few years, but it sounds like it was never good if he doesn't at least lick you until you come. It could all be downhill from here unless you speak up big time. It's not a problem with all men,just the lazy ones. You ask how to get him to think of your needs. That is the simple part. Two words: withhold pussy. Make it clear that the quick, one-sided in-and-out is turning you off to the point where you can't be bothered even fucking him for a while. He should make you come first, either with his mouth, his fingers or a dildo. If he can't manage it with his cock, then let your two-minute man go for it with some other tool. He sounds like a selfish prick to me. It's good thing you figured out the sex life sucks before you tied the knot. Some will argue that sex isn't everything, but it is in a sex column. Q. Ever since I've been on the pill, I have been really moody and needy. My boyfriend of two years likes that we can fuck without a condom on, but hates it that I get moody. In fact, he actually gets pissed-off at me for crying, which only makes me cry more. He says it's the pill, but I think it's his apathetic ways that make me sad. When a man rejects your tears, does that mean he isn't really into you? Shouldn't he be holding me close and comforting me? Am I nuts?

Sad Eyes

A. The birth control pill works by tricking the body into thinking it's always three months pregnant, which is why we can't get pregnant on the pill, because we are already pregnant (according to our hormone levels). How do pregnant women behave? Emotional, clingy, insecure about their looks, sometimes jealous, sad with mood swings and what's more, they get chubby. (No wonder so many men cheat when their woman is pregnant). So it's no surprise that you feel that way, but if it gets too extreme, you need to try a different pill and get that shit under control, because no man wants a crybaby. They usually get fucking mad when their woman cries because it makes them feel helpless and guilty, and they get mad at you for making them feel that way. Most prefer a strong, stable woman so they can be the softie. (Look at Bill and Hillary, for example). Don't bug him with unexplained, unwarranted tears-men can't handle all that emotional turmoil. Call a friend or relative when you are really down in the dumps and talk it out to see what's really bothering you, or you will have a real reason to cry when he leaves your wimpy ass.