HIGHWAY ROBBERY
There are few things we enjoy more than a good old-fashioned jewel heist-especially if it's pulled off with panache. The three jewel thieves who struck last week had clearly seen their share of Italian action movies.
The fun began on the LIE around 3 pm, when they rear-ended a car being driven by a local jeweler making a delivery. A bag in the car held six figures worth of diamonds and gold.
The three desperadoes followed the jeweler as he drove to an access road where he could pull over and assess the damage. When he did, our three boys leapt from their car with guns drawn, in solid action-movie fashion. They took the jeweler's car keys and his bag, then sped away. Police have few leads.
Our question is: Do they have a reliable fence? Where do you find a good fence these days? -Sgt. Howell Jollbody
RAP SHEET
Cam'ron is working hard at living up to his New York Press Best Of award for "Best Sign of the Apocalypse (hip-hop edition)." The third-rate Ghostface biter, presently being outshined by ex-partner and fellow scrub Mase, was shot in a carjacking incident that Internet heads are already convinced was a staged event to promote his forthcoming album or some such blather. As to the Village Voice running our entire Best Of item online in an article about the shooting, thanks, we guess. On the other hand, Cam'ron is suing R. Kelly, though for the record, Kelly only (allegedly) pisses on young girls.
Second-rate rapper The Game is, apparently, following in the footsteps of the late and lamented Big Baby Jesus in being "for the children." "Signing a little girl's autograph got me arrested," he said. According to the police, who presumably are not for the children, the rapper was wearing a full-face Halloween mask and cursing up a storm while in Greensboro, NC. "They thought I was Rodney King, man. It was a case of mistaken identity," he told a local television station. We can only imagine the cops' disappointment when they found out The Game wasn't Mr. King. -Mike Crophan
D.C. BLOTTER: BROKEN VESPA
I'm as disappointed as the next man by last week's indictment of "Scooter" Libby for perjury and obstruction of justice, but there are some reasons for hope. Special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has Libby's balls in a vice, and there's little reason to think he won't squeeze. Fitzgerald has gone after al-Qaeda terrorists, the Chicago machine and an English lord, among others, and has repeatedly gotten at the bigwigs by throwing the book at their flunkies, giving them real incentive to cut a deal and point the finger at their masters. I'm also not certain that Libby was the only administration official indicted last week. The pointed refusal of Fitzgerald's spokesman to say anything more than that there was no "public record" of such pleas is quite odd. Maybe Fitzgerald has a bunch of minnows on the hook, and is keeping it secret while he hunts the big fish. I wouldn't bet a beer on Karl Rove or Dick Cheney being indicted-but it wouldn't surprise me. -Grant Causwell