Intensely personal comic hosts variety show feat. equally frightening performers Audrey Crabtree, David Leopold, Donetta Reilly, Reina Terror, Shecky Beagleman, Jennifer Blowdryer, Suzanne O'Neill & Karen Sneider; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-561-9740; Fri. & Sat. at 12 a.m., $6, incl.free beer.
BACK SEATS & BATHROOM STALLS
LES angst meets teen sex comedy (finally) in Rob Mersola's latest & greatest; KGB Theater, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-777-6088; Fri. & Sat. at 10:30, $12 [through 6/10].
BEDTIME SKETCH COMEDY
"Savage comedy" ensemble perform "Gin & Comic" w/free candy; Westbeth Theater, 151 Bank St. (betw. West & Washington Sts.), 212-741-0391; Fri. at 11:30, $10. [repeats 6/16 at 11:30, $10.]
BEHIND THE MUZAK
Chicken Skratch returns with all new sketch comedy; The Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves), 212-363-9653; Thurs. at 8, Fri. at 9, Sat. at 7 & 9, $15.
Don't miss Jonny McGovern's solid gold one-man show in which a Gay Pimp, Blaxplotation Diva, Trailer Park Princess & "a whole lotta gay juice" take over body of this unique performer; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-673-4182 or www.GayPimp.com; Fri. at 8, $5. [through 6/30].
DOWNTOWN SCHOOL FOR GIRLS
A "girl-powered comedy" feat. enough plaid skirts to send you straight to hell, with or without a Celine Dion-mangled ballad on the soundtrack; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-673-4182; Fri. at 10, $7 [repeats 6/17 at 10, $7.]
EPSTEIN & HASSAN
Greatest comedy by an interracial married duo in the history of the art combines traditional stand-up with free-form audience participation, revealing 7 1/2 Secrets of a Very Successful Relationship; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-673-4182; Tues. at 8, $8. [repeats 6/20, 7/11, 7/18 & 7/25 at 8, $8.]
FREE BREAD & WINE
Improv comedy from audience suggestion feat. the Brain Trust; St. Mark's Theater, 94 St. Mark's Pl. (1st Ave.), 212-387-2028; Sun. at 8, free [through 7/29].
Patrick Borelli & Jen Kirkman's weekly night of stand-up, improv & sketch comedy for "NYC's Most Beautiful Performers" with new house band, The Disturbed; Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 718-832-3822; Thurs. at 8, free w/1 drink min.
All women, all improv, all right; Thirteenth St. Rep, 50 W. 13th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-252-4036; Mon. at 7, $6 [through 6/26].
A NIGHT OF CRAZY COMEDY
Dr. Figment Destroyed hosts one-woman show feat. neurotic patients performing "comedy therapy"; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; Thurs. & Fri. at 10, $10 [repeats 6/15 at 8, $10.]
PENN & TELLER
Deranged magicians who will not be stopped; Beacon Theater, 2124 B'way (74th St.), 212-307-7171; Weds.-Fri. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, Sun. at 3 & 7:30, $29-$52.50.
"Group captain" improv feat. special appearances by downtown favs.; Parkside Lounge, 317 E. Houston St. (Attorney St.), 800-246-1390; Mon. at 8:30, contrib. [through 6/26].
SON OF O'DONNELLOGUES
John O'Donnell tells tales which have "little or no connection to one another"; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176; Fri. at 8, $5 [through 6/30].
SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE
"Proudly anti-gay" gay man David Mills rails against the "establishment"; Here, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; Weds. & Thurs. at 7, $15.
UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE
A plethora of events from some of the strangest, yet sanest, people around. Sean Conroy's one-man humorous look at teaching, "Taught," (Weds. at 8) followed by "Tracers" (9:30); "Herald Night" double feature (Thurs. at 8 & 9:30) & "Cage Match" (11); Friday, "Naked Babies in Emotional Stuntmen" (8); Rich Brown (Fri. at 10); Open improv jam (Fri. at 12 a.m.); "Mobile Assault Unit" (Sat. at 8); "The Real Real World," skits MTV too fraidy-cat to air (Sat. at 10), "Feature Feature," improvised movies, (Sat. at 11:30); "A.S.S.S.S.C.A.T. 2000" long-form improv show is still running (Sun. at 7:30 & 9:30, free); "Eddie!," the one-man show runs (Tues. at 7); Students of UCB get a chance to practice in "New Team Harold" (Tues. at 9:30); Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176 or www.uprightcitizens.org for info; most performances $5.
Lovable, odd-looking & gay comedy writer escapes evil clutches of Whoopi Goldberg & Billy Crystal, triumphing poignantly in the process (but perhaps it's too late); Westbeth Theater, 151 Bank St. (betw. West & Washington Sts.), 212-741-0391; Mon.-Sat. at 8:30, $35-40 [through 7/1].
WHITE TRASH WINS LOTTO
Brian Beacock plays Axl Rose with what appears to be a "twist," if you get the drift; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; Fri. & Sat. at 12:15 a.m., $10.