Sword of Justice

Let's face it: Sometimes people can assault, even kill the people they know, and it's understandable. These things happen on occasion when you get to know someone. But if there's one thing you should never, ever do with an acquaintance, it's rob them at knifepoint.

That's what 22-year-old Christopher Nervil did on the afternoon of Jan. 25. And in his own home, even! The guy who's dating Nervil's aunt had stopped by Nervil's Boerum Hill apartment for a visit, when Nervil demanded that his guest fork over his earrings. The man refused, so Nervil grabbed a mighty knife and asked again. This time the man agreed. Then he excused himself and left, according to the Post.

The slow-witted Nervil forgot that when you rob an acquaintance at knifepoint, they still know your name, your face and where you live. He was arrested on Jan. 27.

Staten Island resident Jeanine Martin, 29, really hates cars. Not enough to blow them up or drive them into the ocean; she just wants to hurt them. On Sunday afternoon, according to the Post, she found a car she disliked parked on Robin Ct. First she wrenched off one of the windshield wipers. Then she knocked one of the rearview mirrors off. Then she got arrested and was charged with criminal mischief, the silly goose.

At about 1:30 a.m. on Jan. 31, the 60- year-old attendant at an East Flatbush laundromat noticed that one of his customers was spending an awfully long time in the bathroom. The Post reports that the customer, Derek Gibbs, refused to come out even after the attendant knocked on the door and asked politely. Suspecting that something unwholesome was afoot, the attendant got the key and opened the door.

This displeased Gibbs attacked the man, whacking him right on the head with a handy metal pole. The attendant was not seriously injured, and Gibbs was quickly arrested.

And on the afternoon of Feb. 1, 75 year-old Eugene Carlson was hobbling down E. 9th between B and C. He's an old, sickly man who uses a cane, and getting down the sidewalk in winter was tough enough as it was. On account of the snow, there was only a narrow path to traverse, and the path was made even narrower by all the garbage cans that had been dragged out to the curb.

Then he encountered a homeless man named George Devol, who was blocking the path. Just standing there, blocking the damn sidewalk.

Devol refused to make room to let the old man pass. (We've certainly met our share of similar assholes in recent days.) At that point Carlson did what most of us can only dream about: He unscrewed his sword cane, drew the blade (which depending on the source was either 10 or 22 inches long) and hacked Devol in the throat, nearly severing his jugular.

Devol was rushed to the hospital in critical condition, and Carlson was arrested and charged with first-degree assault and weapons possessions. We don't care what anybody says-here at the Blotter, we consider Mr. Carlson a true hero for these asshole-ridden times.