Longtime Biz Partner of Fashion Icon Kate Spade Pens Moving Memoir to Her Friend

“She is the most gracious, sweet, intelligent, funny woman I’ve ever known,” says Elyce Arons of her best friend of 40 years, fashion icon Kate Spade, who in 2018 at age 55, took her own life.

Until that point, Spade had lived a splashy New York life, and that’s what her BFF wants everyone to remember. “I will never let Katy’s choice in those tragic last minutes of her life define her.”

Arons pays tribute to her late sister-from-another-mister in a beautiful debut memoir, “We Just Might Make It After All: My Best Friendship With Kate Spade.”

The book shares the journey of college friends who moved to Manhattan with a shared dream of making it in the fashion world, bringing with them the optimism of their idol, Mary Tyler Moore’s spunky Mary Richards, famously throwing her hat in the air.

The two Midwesterners started at the bottom (Kate as an assistant fashion editor at Mademoiselle magazine and Elyce as a sales/customer service rep at a beauty display manufacturer), then made it to the top, founding both Kate Spade and Frances Valentine, the latter of which Arons is CEO.

The author took the time to share with Straus Media the importance of female friendships, what it takes to start a business, and what she’s doing to help those who struggle with depression and anxiety, as her friend once did.

Why now for this book?

Because nothing’s been done about [Kate Spade], and what people remember of her is how she left us and not how she lived. I wanted to tell all those stories and, more than anything else, the story about a best friendship.

SATC brought the importance of female friendships into the zeitgeist. What’s your view on the subject?

I just think there’s something really special about them. When you have that connection, it can be emotional. You really share a lot—clothes, makeup, and we tell each other a lot more intimate stories. There’s so much room for closeness on so many levels.

Some friendships can’t survive the transition into the business realm. How did you make it work?

Because there were four of us (Elyce, Kate, Pamala Bell, and Andy Spade), we balanced each other out, respected each other, were loyal, listened to each other, and forgave mistakes because we were all learning at the same time how to run a business. We communicated every day, all day, trying to get to the same goal.

Often, college grads come here ready to take on the world, only to end up in an entry-level job with a second gig to make ends meet, before going home to a hole-in-the-wall apartment as you and Kate did. What encouragement can you offer? 


Well, especially in New York, there’s so much opportunity.

This is the top of the world to me. I love living in New York. It’s the most exciting city in the whole world. You can make your future here, but you won’t see it unless you get out and do things and expose yourself and make connections.

I catered on weekends and met all sorts of famous people. When you’re in proximity, it makes it feel so much more attainable for yourself.

Building on that, you were 30 when you started Kate Spade. What advice do you have about starting a business?

Work for somebody else and get really good at every job you possibly can; get in early, earlier than the boss, stay later than the boss, and you will move up the ladder. The more jobs you learn, the more you know about the entire business can help you.

It’s harder these days. You do have to have capital behind you to get started. We never had to take money from anyone. We never borrowed. Today it’s a little bit different. It does help to have backers.

Once you feel like you’re in the right place, go for it. 


So, do you feel like you fulfilled your dream of being Mary Tyler Moore?

[LAUGHS]. She was just such an icon. It was rare that a woman got a job in a male-dominated field on her own without a boyfriend, no husband, and no prospect of one, and didn’t care about that. It wasn’t her priority ever. It was about her career. She was confident and strong, but also really funny and stylish. And that was the woman I wanted to become.

Lastly, you’ve designed a tote bag for Hope for Depression, with 100% of the proceeds going to the organization. How did you get involved?

I was opening our Palm Beach store in 2019. [Philanthropist and founder of the Hope for Depression Research Foundation (HDRF)] Audrey Gruss came in to buy a bag for an auction donation. I said we’d be happy to donate the bag.

She started [HDRF] to research depression and new drugs to help it.

I love the work that they’re doing. Given how I lost my partner, I think it’s a great organization to support.

“We Just Might Make It After All: My Best Friendship With Kate Spade” (Gallery Books) hit bookshelves on June 17.

If you or someone you know is feeling depressed or suicidal, call 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day.

Lorraine Duffy Merkl is the author of 3 novels, most recently “The Last Single Woman in New York City.