Goats Return to Riverside Park for Summer Chomp Jobs

More than a thousand goat lovers and other friends of flora and fauna descended on a verdant field at Ten Mile River Playground in Riverside Park on Saturday, July 12, for the annual “Goatham” celebration, a public welcoming of the small herd of goats that will be working here the rest of the summer.

Also billed as the “The Great Goat Graze-Off,” the “Goatham” event would feature a competitive eating contest between the animals, first known contest of its kind. This follows, at least in spirit, the success of last year’s “Goatham” extravaganza, which included a “running of the Goats.”

Here’s the thing about goats, however. Adore them, stroke them, emblazen their profiles on all manner of popular merchandise (T-shirts, hats, tote bags), anthropomorphize them even: While a goat will continue to do goat things unfazed by human adulation, it will do so on goat-time, not that of some abstract—to a goat—construct like a Riverside Park Conservancy event, let alone that of a mere goat reporter, no matter how far he traveled to see them.

And if the goats won’t run on command, perhaps, ravenous, four-stomached creatures that they are, perhaps a “graze-off” would be more congenial to the goats’ temperaments.

The title of the event, which began around 11am, is of course a play on “Gotham,” not an epicurean’s portmanteau of “goat” and “ham.”

While goat meat is tasty and value—especially Mexican tacos (cabrito), Haitian goat stew (cabrit), Jamaican goat curry, among other cuisines—this gang of five goat competitors had no fear of ending up as food on someone’s Instagram feed.

Fear not, Romeo, Mallomar, Butterball, Rufus, and Kash! The calling here is not to be consumed but to consume the myriad invasive plant species that are a menace: poison ivy and mugwort especially.

The near-boundless appetite of goats as well their superior clambering ability on steep terrain make them ideal animals for clearing difficult-to-access and thickly vegetated hillsides such as those in Riverside Park. This reporter has seen goats on similar terrain at Fort Wadsworth Park on Staten Island, and they’ve been used in Van Cortlandt Park in the Bronx as well.

This year they will be put to work at West 143rd Street, though they’ve also worked previously at West 120th Street.

While it’s believed the goats arrived at Riverside Park by trailer—this reporter truly would have plotzed had he seen a goat on the A train get off at 145th Street and start climbing up Sugar Hill—most humans arrived under their own power.

Though surely some people walked, ran, or rode their bicycles from the south or north, it seemed most of “Goatham”-ites could be seen clambering down from Riverside Drive, where the 151st Street Bridge carries one over the Amtrak railroad tracks and the Henry Hudson Parkway.

Completed in 2017, the span is an lesser-known jewel. For urban architecture buffs, it’s well worth the visit to the span alone, as is the Ralph Ellison Memorial at Riverside Drive and West 150th Street.

Down at the playground, the qualities of goat power (which Ellison playfully referenced in his famed 1952 novel, Invisible Man) were in evidence, including, in addition to the quintet of goats themselves, various information tables; a goat statue with park volunteer to take photos; food; and a popular “Goatham”-branded merchandise stand. Afterward, the hard swinging Nice Brass Band would play.

The Rulers Are Baaa-ck!

As much as goats can be led—which as noted, is only somewhat—the event was guided by Merritt Birnbaum, president and CEO of the Riverside Park Conservancy.

Birnbaum called out, “They’re ba-a-a-a-ck!” then qualified her introduction by saying it was her first and only goat pun of the day— because she knew the other speakers had goat puns too.

“We are making history here today. We don’t know what that history will be, but it will be historic,” she exclaimed.

Recently installed Parks Commissioner Iris Rodriguez–Rosa spoke next. Rodriguez-Rosa is a high-energy person, her voice a compelling blend of Brooklyn-ese with a trace of Spanish flavor reflecting her Puerto Rican roots.

For those who hadn’t previously met Rodriguez-Rosa—whose career with the Parks Department began in 1986—she was a revelation, with a passion for her work undimmed after more than 39 years of service. “When Parks first heard the idea, we thought ‘whatever floats your goat,’ ” Rodriguez-Rosa joked, while also sincerely noting that the goats were such a good idea, she duplicated the project in Van Cortlandt Park.

Council Member Shawn Abreu, wearing a white-and-orange Zabar’s T-shirt, spoke next. He was followed by City Council Member Gale Brewer, wearing her signature sunglasses. In addition to the solon’s praise for the event, Brewer upped the stakes by betting $100 on Mallomar to win.

Manhattan Borough Parks Commissioner Tricia Shimamura was up next and, like her boss, she expressed a disarming and unfeigned enthusiasm for being there with goats and people; representatives from other, often grumpier city agencies would do well to emulate these women. Shimamura’s puns included “all kidding aside, get it, kidding?” and praise for Riverside Park advocates who are “leading the herd . . . ”

Shimamura also a generous and competitive spirit, urged those in attendance to thank all the “Parkies” (park workers) when they see them. And with a generous and competitive spirit, she placed money on Butterball to win.

As for the eating contest itself, though it was compellingly emceed by George Shea, the CEO of Coney Island’s Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, we’re talking goats here.

They are entertaining, yes, but they do not consider themselves entertainers. Even with trays of luscious mugwort carried into the makeshift arena by happy Bloomberg company volunteers, not all the goats would eat, let alone at a sporting pace.

In the end, Mallomar won but did not appear particularly moved by her victory.